"Things have to come to an end, see. That's how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldn't treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then you've got to know where th...

Witches Abroad

"I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought. Now, everywhere I go, there's...." Death, to be precise. And plenty ...

Maskerade

As the mighty alien fleet from the very latest computer game thunders across the computer screen, Johnny prepares to blow them into the usual million pieces. But then they send him a message: "We surrender". They're not supposed to do that! They're s...

Only You Can Save Mankind: Johnny Maxwell, Book 1

"Outside! What's it like?" Masklin looked blank. "Well," he said. "It's sort of big."  To the thousands of tiny nomes who live under the floorboards of a large department store, there is no Outside. Things like Day and Night, Sun and Rain are just da...

Truckers

Sell the cemetery? Over their dead bodies.... Not many people can see the dead (and not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the members of the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. ...

Johnny and the Dead: Johnny Maxwell, Book 2

In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet. That's the old story everyone knows and loves (even if they don't really believe it). But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples, and there's a new s...

The Carpet People

"Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot." Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like ...

The Colour of Magic

Sir Tony Robinson is a much-loved actor, presenter and author with a stellar career lasting over 50 years. Now, in his long-awaited autobiography, he reveals how the boy from South Woodford went from child stardom in the first stage production of Oli...

No Cunning Plan

The complete soundtracks of all four Blackadder series, plus over three hours of specials and extras.  Through the ages of Britain, from the 15th century to the 21st, Edmund Blackadder has meddled his way along the bloodlines, aided by his servant an...

Blackadder: The Complete Collected Series

Somewhere in a place so far up there is no down, a ship is waiting to take the nomes home: back to wherever they came from. And one nome, Masklin, knows that they've got to try and contact this ship. It means getting to Florida (wherever that is), th...

Wings

"Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome." For Mort however, it is about to become one of the tools of his trade. ...

Mort

"Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle."  Three witches gathered on a lonely heath. A king has been cruelly murdered, his throne usurp...

Wyrd Sisters

They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. There are some situations where the correct response is to display the sort of ignorance that happily and wilfully flies in the face of the fa...

Equal Rites

"What shall we do?" said Twoflower."Panic?" said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival."  When the very fabric of time and space are about to be put through the wringer, in this instance by the imminent arrival...

The Light Fantastic

How to develop self-discipline, resist temptations, and reach your long-terms goals. Do you make goals yet get discouraged when your plans don't work? We all know that person who seemingly was born to succeed. Fitness, health, business, they achieve ...

The Power of Self-Discipline

A Bright New Dawn is just around the corner for thousands of tiny nomes when they begin to move into the ruined buildings of an abandoned quarry. Or is it? Soon strange things start to happen. Like the tops of puddles growing hard and cold, and the w...

Diggers

Tony Robinson stars in this BBC Radio 4 full-cast dramatisation of E. T. A. Hoffmann's renowned Christmas story, which inspired Tchaikovsky's ballet The Nutcracker.  It is Christmas Eve, and young Mary and Fred are opening presents from their godfath...

The Nutcracker and the Mouse King

An aura of mean-minded resentfulness is thick in the streets of Ankh-Morpork. Insurrection is in the air. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. The Have-Nots want some of their own magic. But magic in the hands of amateurs is ...

Guards! Guards!

"What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place."  Fate is a word that springs to the lips when to call some...

Men at Arms

A classic story of friendship between man and beast.  Saved from the jaws of the evil tiger Shere Khan, young Mowgli is adopted by a wolf pack and taught the law of the jungle by lovable old Baloo the bear and Bhageera the panther. The adventures of ...

The Jungle Book

It's an offer you can't refuse. Who would not wish to be the man in charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint and the bank next door? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long. The chief ...

Making Money

"Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle."  Religion is a controversial business in the Discworld. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods - who come in all shapes and sizes. In such a competitive environment,...

Small Gods

It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. There's snow, there are robins, there are trees covered with decorations, but there's a notable lack of the big fat man who delivers the toys. He's gone.  Susan the governess has got to find him be...

Hogfather

For members of the City Watch, life consists of troubling times, linked together by periods of torpid inactivity. Now is one such troubling time. People are being murdered, but there's no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene. Is the...

Feet of Clay

Up on the chalk downs they call The Wold, witches are banned: ever since the Baron's son vanished in the woods. Anyway, as all witches know, chalk's no good for magic.  Nine-year-old Tiffany Aching thinks her Granny Aching, a wise shepherd, might hav...

The Wee Free Men

A man with no eyes. No eyes at all. Two tunnels in his head.... It’s not easy being a witch, and it’s certainly not all whizzing about on broomsticks, but Tiffany Aching – teen witch – is doing her best.  Until something evil wakes up, something that...

I Shall Wear Midnight

Moist von Lipwig was a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet. It was a tough decision. But he's got to see that the mail gets though - come rain, hail, sleet...

Going Postal

DEATH IS MISSING: PRESUMED...ER...GONE....which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. Meanwhile, on a little farm far, far away, a tall dark stranger is turning out to be really good with a scythe. There's a harvest to be gathered in.

Reaper Man

Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck.   Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy...

Night Watch

The much-loved actor, presenter and author, Tony Robinson, joins Gabriel Fleming in the Audible Studios to discuss his autobiography, No Cunning Plan. Sir Tony Robinson is most famous for playing the role of Baldrick in Blackadder and presenting the ...

Tony Robinson

The most powerful men in the world were all together in a circle in the middle of the room. Drawing their daggers, they cut their right hands and, above the pile of gold, swore Odysseus’ vow: Helen could marry whom she liked, and the Princes would de...

Odysseus: The Greatest Hero of them All

Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots.  An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shi...

The Shepherd's Crown (Abridged)

Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to s...

Thud!

The first in a fantastic new history series from the acclaimed Tony Robinson. Tony Robinson takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining and gory bits about the Romans! It's h...

Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders, Book 1: Romans

Finding himself alone on a desert island when everything and everyone he knows and loved has been washed away in a huge storm, Mau is the last surviving member of his nation. He's also completely alone - or so he thinks until he finds the ghost girl....

Nation

Tony Robinson takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining, smelly, and disgusting bits about World War II!  It’s history, but not as we know it! Find out everything you need to know in this brilliant, action-packed, fact-filled book, including:  Just how useful mashed potato is How the Battle of Britain was won What it takes to be a spy How D-Day was kept a surprise. 

Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders! World War II

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life: people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some ...

The Truth

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen Universit...

Unseen Academicals

The first in a fantastically funny new history series from the acclaimed Tony Robinson, who takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining, smelly and disgusting bits about the ...

Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders: Egyptians

Other children receive xylophones. Susan just had to ask her grandfather to take his vest off. Yes. There's a Death in the family. It's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe: especially when you have to tak...

Soul Music

Polly Perks had to become a boy in a hurry. Cutting off her hair and wearing trousers was easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape took more time. And now she's enlisted in the army, and searching for her lost brother.  But the...

Monstrous Regiment

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. And on Discworld, that is the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater; how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities...

Thief of Time

Everything you need to know about World War I! Tony Robinson takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining, smelly, and disgusting bits about World War I. It's history, but not...

Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders - World War I

Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. All he wants is his three wishes granted. Nothing fancy: to be immortal, to rule the world, and have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him. The...

Eric

"Look after the dead," said the priests, "and the dead will look after you."  Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country whose largesse, and indeed treasury, is unlikely to s...

Pyramids

There are many who say that the art of diplomacy is an intricate and complex dance between two informed partners, determined by an elaborate set of elegant and unwritten rules. There are others who maintain that it's merely a matter of who carries th...

Interesting Times

"When you start believing in Spirits, you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are, you're believing in Gods. And then you're in trouble." Reality is all very well in small doses. It's a perfectly conventional and convenient ...

Lords and Ladies

Another fascinating title in the fantastically funny history series from the acclaimed Tony Robinson. Tony Robinson takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining, smelly and di...

Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders! British

Tiffany Aching is a trainee witch now working for the seriously scary Miss Treason. But when Tiffany witnesses the Dark Dance, the crossover from summer to winter, she does what no one has ever done before: she leaps into the dance. And into the olde...

Wintersmith

"Neighbours...hah! People'd live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work, and then some trivial thing would happen, and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear." Throughout history, there's alw...

Jingo

Johnny Maxwell and his friends have to do something when they find Mrs Tachyon, the local bag lady, semi-conscious in an alley...as long as it's not the kiss of life. But there's more to Mrs Tachyon than a squeaky trolley and a bunch of dubious black...

Johnny and the Bomb

Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders! Greeks

" All these books and stuff, that isn't what it should all be about. What we need is real wizardry." All is not well within the Unseen University. The endemic politics of the place have ensured that it has finally got what it wished for: the most pow...

Sourcery

Clive King's wonderful classic, Stig of the Dump, is now available to download, complete and unabridged and read by the brilliant Tony Robinson.  Barney is a solitary little boy, given to wandering off by himself. One day he is lying on the edge of a...

Stig of the Dump

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse.  And Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innoc...

Snuff

Sam Vines is a man on the run. Yesterday he was a duke, a chief of police, and the ambassador to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It'...

The Fifth Elephant

Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be priest. He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom of Lancre for a simple little religious ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between vampires and witches, and he's not sure there is a right side. T...

Carpe Jugulum

"Anything you do in the past changes the future. The tiniest little actions have huge consequences. You might tread on an ant now and it might entirely prevent someone from being born in the future."  There's nothing like the issue of evolution to ge...

The Last Continent

It has taken ten long, bloody years for the Greeks to win the Trojan War and now Odysseus, their victorious leader, wants nothing more than to return home to his wife and son. But the only person who can tell him the way home is the prophet Tyresius, and he has been dead for hundreds of years…. 

Odysseus II: The Journey Through Hell

The alchemists of the Discworld have discovered the magic of the silver screen. But what is the dark secret of Holy Wood hill? It's up to Victor Tugelbend ("Can't sing. Can't dance. Can handle a sword a little") and Theda Withel ("I come from a little town you've probably never heard of") to find out. Moving Pictures, the ninth Discworld novel, is a gloriously funny saga set against the background of a world gone mad!

Moving Pictures

There is no other novel quite like The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists. George Orwell called it "a wonderful book"; its readers have become a living part of its remarkable history.  Tressell's novel is about survival on the underside of the Edwardia...

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists

A real witch never casually steps out of her body, leaving it empty. Eleven-year-old Tiffany Aching does. And there's something just waiting for a handy body to take over. Something ancient and horrible and that can't die. Tiffany returns in this exc...

A Hat Full of Sky

Theseus certainly has a reputation to live up to! After being saved from death as a baby, he goes on to fight the Great Tosser, falls into the clutches of Pine Bender and duffs up his uncle Laius. He even manages to defeat a horde of pirates and visits the Underworld. Oh, and he kills the Minotaur. And all in the space of this book! 

Theseus: The King Who Killed the Minotaur

Maurice, an amazing cat who has survived four years on the toughest streets in the whole of the Discworld, reckons that rats are dumb - clever, okay, but dumb. Maurice, however, is smart, smart enough to recognize that there's a new kind of rat aroun...

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

To the consternation of the patrician, Lord Vetinari, a new invention has arrived in Ankh-Morpork - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all of the elements: earth, air, fire and water.  This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon...

Raising Steam

Dodger is a tosher – a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn’t. But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him. And Dodger’s tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins….

Dodger

Delight in a collection of the world's favourite children's stories voiced by our favourite celebrities.  From a fantastic edition of Beauty and the Beast read by the brilliant comedian, writer and actor Rik Mayall to the incredibly captivating Rapun...

Once upon a Time: Favourite Fairy Tales

The Bear was really unlucky. It was unfortunate that the bumps in the ground he tried to smooth out had turned out to be ant-hills. And that the holes he had filled in in the rabbits’ meadow were their front doors. But now he was being educated by th...

The Hermit and the Bear

It is the summer of 1853 and Commander James Rutherford leaves Calcutta once more to renew his campaign against organised Oriental piracy. The principal pirate leader Liang Ziu is dead, but Rutherford obtains intelligence that his criminal organisati...

The Final Stronghold

Bill's New Frock  One Monday morning, Bill Simpson wakes up to find he is a girl! Forced off to school in a frilly pink dress, Bill discovers one of the worst, most baffling days of his life is about to begin.... The Country PancakeThe children of Wa...

Bill's New Frock & The Country Pancake

Delight in a collection of tales for all the family, voiced by our favourite celebrities....  This collection includes:    'Aladdin' and 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears' (Rik Mayall)  'Rapunzel' and 'Rumpelstiltskin' (Bobby Davro)  'The Story of Snow...

Stories for All the Family

This is a collection of humorous stories about the Delmonico family. Discover what happens when Mrs Delmonico announces she is feeling a little blue and promptly turns blue, and meet the cat who becomes a poet and the girl who starts a craze for hanging upside down.

Nonstop Nonsense

Delight in a collection of famous children's stories performed by our favourite celebrities.  From a fantastic edition of Beauty and the Beast read by the brilliant comedian, writer and actor Rik Mayall to an awe-inspiring and captivating retelling o...

Stories for Little Girls

These wickedly funny, wickedly realistic stories are set inside schools where chaos is the name of the game. 'Time and the Hour' takes place in a boys’ school, where one class decides to conduct some research and have a bit of fun on the subject of h...

Hairs in the Palm of Your Hand

Delight in a collection of the most well-known children's stories voiced by our favourite celebrities, from a fantastic edition of The Beauty and the Beast, read by the brilliant comedian, writer and actor Rik Mayall, to the incredibly captivating Ra...

Most Well-Known Children's Stories

For Ben Moore, it's dead hard avoiding disaster when you've got to keep your street cred and cope with a family of oddballs at the same time. There's his appalling sister, his scatty parents, and - worst of all - there's Sniff!

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